Different Characters at a Wedding

Intundla Wedding Venue looks at some non-traditional roles that can be overlooked but are often the most essential in keeping your wedding pointing firmly away from disaster.

From the moment the groom to be kneels in front of his intended and utters these 4 words “will you marry me?” a force of nature is unleashed that is capable of sweeping whole families, relatives and friends along in a relentless surge to the altar and the ultimate commitment of those 4 words.
It’s only in hindsight that we see how much of what happened was by the good fortune of having the right people step in at the right time and at the right place.

While some of the roles are traditionally assigned, such as the Best Man and Maid of Honour and shouldn’t be altered, at least not during the same wedding preparations! And others are cast in stone, like Bride and Groom and unfortunately the In-Laws (although you don’t have to live with the In-Laws… hopefully)!

The planner

There is a reason that this has become an employment opportunity as it is not necessary that the poor bride’s shoulders be burdened with all this responsibility. It is also not a prerequisite that the bride has to have the time and be gifted with the art of making notes and drawing up lists, keeping deadlines, tracking responses, updating gift registries, etc. and besides there is a lot on the brides plate already. So look for a planner, you don’t necessarily have to pay one, as there are usually a few of these compulsive list makers in the immediate family.

How to spot them – they have a pen and paper ready at all times and are always working off some sort of list. Their approach to tasks is planned in a logical step by step process where jumping from step 1 to step 4 never ever happens!

What they are good for – Keeping things on track, organised, neat and tidy. Crunching numbers and holding you to your budget.

Possible Pitfalls – The planner has an unfortunate need to be in control and once firmly secured in the driving seat will not be budged or swayed by ideas and suggestions that are not their own! So relinquish control at your own peril.

The Peacemaker

This is an emotional time where the people in certain roles (In-Laws, Mother-of-the-Bride, etc.) want to have their say too and have their own expectations for your wedding. When the train tracks divide and the new direction becomes a point of contention for certain parties, then you will need a peacemaker to step in and keep the planning on track by applying emergency first aid to any bruised egos.

How to spot them – These characters are genial, non-volatile, easy going and good at defusing potential conflicts, it helps if they are chubby and rosy cheeked.

What they are good for – Helping the inevitable different fractions, that planning a wedding creates, feel heard and valuable. Use them as messengers, peace envoys and negotiators.

Possible pitfalls – can be a bit too laid back or not assertive enough when the fit really hits the shan.

The Decider

Weddings require so many levels of decisions that the average person can get decision fatigue which will cause them to randomly select themselves into a tangled mess. Enter the decision maker who always has a clear picture of the ultimate goal and can decide in an instant whether bone white or ivory napkins are going to bring you closer to that goal or lead you off course.

How to spot them – They are the take charge no nonsense types that can spot an open parking bay in a busy mall and have the fastest route planned to get you there before you can say “um… so where shall we park?”.

What are they good for – making the tough decisions, negotiating with suppliers, getting people to be in the right places at the right times and going in as acting sheriff to sort everyone out when your Peacemaker has been shot down.

Possible pitfalls – Can be power mad control freaks so treat with care.

The Party Starter

Empty silences, awkward foot shuffling, conversations about the weather and empty dance floors are a thing of the past when a Party Starter is in the room.

How to spot them – You will usually hear them coming before you see them. They always have lots of jokes or stories that are told in an animated often side-tracked, convoluted delivery, but are none the less entertaining for all the detours and backtracking.

What they are good for – Breaking the ice and keeping the fun dial turned up!

Possible pitfalls – Can get a bit sulky if the spotlight moves off them and become impossible drama queens when they run out of fun juice. So keep them topped up with plenty of attention!

There is a lot to do and plan to get a wedding right on the day. In fact regardless of all the meticulous planning some of the best, most memorable wedding days have come together only with the help of a few special people and some unplanned, good old fashioned luck.

At Intundla Wedding Venue we are pro’s at making your special day a memorable one for all the right reasons!  Talk to us about all your needs and we can assist with finding the best service providers, Photographers, Hair and Make-up, Gowns, etc.

Talk to a Wedding Coordinator at Intundla

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Social Media Etiquette for Wedding Guests

Wait before posting your Congratulations

Don’t post anything about the couple’s engagement or wedding announcement before you’ve checked with them. They might still have people that they would like to inform about their plans. Unless of course they’ve announced it on social media themselves.

Never post photos of the Bridal Gown before the day

You might be privy to see the wedding dress before the wedding, or even go gown shopping with the bride. You don’t want to steal the look on the groom’s face when he sees the bride walking down the aisle in her dress for the first time.

Related article: Social Media and Getting Married

Be sensitive when posting about the Wedding arrangements

It is more than likely that not all of the bride and groom’s friends have been invited to their wedding. This way you avoid possible awkwardness for the couple.

Don’t take photos during the Ceremony

This could get in the way of the professional photographer but also try and just be in the moment. Some times are best to leave the smartphone in your purse or pocket.

Stay clear of the professional wedding photographer

Unless the bride and groom have specifically requested that you refrain from taking any photos, most couples will probably be happy if you take a few. But stay clear of the professional photographer and do not try and catch the bride and groom’s attention while they’re busy with their photographer!

Show the Bride and Groom in the best light

This is their special day and they’ve probably paid a lot of money to have a professional photographer. Be kind and respectful and don’t post photos of the bride and groom that will show them in a bad light.

Ask permission before you share

The best way to go about it is to first ask the bridal couple for permission before posting any photos or videos of them. Find out if they have a designated social media coordinator that will first vet all images.

Use the wedding Hashtag #

The reason for the hashtag is so that all their wedding photos will be in one place. Do use the hashtag and encourage others to do the same.

Only use the areas designated for cell phone use

Some bridal couples will ask you to only use your mobile phone in designated areas. Do respect the couple’s wishes, and if the wedding is unplugged, put your phone away and just enjoy the day with them. You’d be surprised how much fun you could have without your phone!

Related article: Social Media Etiquette at Weddings

* TIP for the Bride and Groom – Appoint one of your bridesmaids as social media coordinator, to oversee all aspects of the social media before, during and after the Wedding. This person can create your custom wedding hashtag, inform all the guests of the social media etiquette, keep the guests in line, and collect and vet all the images after the wedding.

Connect with our Wedding Coordinators

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5 Special Things you can do for your Guests at your Wedding

1. Welcome bag for out-of-town guests

Because we live in such a global world most weddings have guests travelling from other cities and even other countries. Show your appreciation by giving your out-of-town guests a little welcome bag with goodies. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just something to show you appreciate them coming all this way – a bottle of bubbly for their arrival, a map of the area, comfy slippers for their weary feet.



2. Party props to funk up the dance floor

 You can really liven up your wedding and especially the dance floor with some party props. All you need is a couple of funky hats, masks, colourful wigs, wacky sunglasses and hey presto!



3. A Safe Ride home

 Your wedding should be a big celebration! Don’t let your guests worry about drinking and driving. Organise a free taxi service that can take your guests back to their hotels. They will be very grateful for it. And if you have your wedding at Intundla Game Lodge then your guests won’t have to worry about a thing because they’ll be staying in our Luxury Accommodation at the Lodge.



4. Give your Guests balloons

 Give each of your guests a balloon (filled with helium) after the Ceremony. It’ll look simply spectacular when they all walk towards the reception area holding colourful balloons.



5. Provide Entertainment for the kids

 If you’re allowing your guests to bring their kids to your wedding then go the extra mile and make sure there is enough entertainment provided for them like this pizza station where they can make their own pizzas.

happy kid = happy parent = happy wedding.


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