Wedding jitters – is it all just in your head?

The big day looms, all the wedding planning has been done and soon it will be show time! This is where the nerves begin to jangle and we may begin to look for a plausible exit strategy or two. Not acting on the devised get away plan and showing up for the big day is normal as is the wedding jitters themselves.

Reality bites
The wedding bliss dream gets more and more reality injected into it as the bride and groom come to closer to tying the knot. This is understandable as they are under immense pressure and stress leading up to the wedding. So it is natural that there will be a few chinks in the veneer, some irritation and tension in the air and even the odd heated exchange.  It is important to remember who you two are and the reasons for getting married before you both became temporarily unhinged by the wedding preparations.

Losing the singular to become a plural
Even if you have been together or engaged for years it is natural to fear for the impending loss of your ‘single status’. All those things you could have done if you wanted to but never did and now can’t because you are getting married. Remember that if you never got to it when you were single, it probably would never have happened anyway. So there is no reason now to morn it’s loss.

Performance anxiety
Standing up in front of your peers and professing your love formally at church and then again at the reception, will have most people drenched in nervous sweat.  Public speaking is considered more terrifying than dying by some. And so you may well feel like your life is ending or wish it was. With a bit of luck you will say all the right words, everyone will praise your speech and you will have to watch the video to recover from the performance induced amnesia. Oh and don’t worry about the wedding night.
Remember that our ancestors had it worse when the wedding had to be consummated in front of the family.

Word to the wise
If you are having pre-wedding jitters, don't share this with your intended. Within the emotionally charged existence leading up to the wedding your confession may be very badly received. Rather find a calm person, wise person to confide your pre-wedding anxieties with.

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Wedding Superstitions worth Keeping

Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue

This one is by far our favourite. The tradition behind why this custom started, and the symbolism is just too beautiful, that you’d want to hang on to this one. Traditionally a custom from Israel that is symbolic to love, fidelity, the union of the couple and their life together.

Something old – this is showing the ties between the newly married couple and their families.

Something new – the new unity between the husband and wife.

Something borrowed – Something special from the bride’s family or friends as a promise of their love and friendship.

Something blue – this is a symbol of the fidelity between man and wife as they enter into married life.

And a silver sixpence in her shoe – The end of this beautiful rhyme supposedly bringing the bride and groom luck and good fortune. The silver coin from the bride’s father should be worn in her left shoe, and a gold coin from her mother in her right shoe. This is to ensure that she will never go without.

It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony

Arranged marriages were pretty common worldwide until the 18th century, and they took place like business deals between families, where fathers hoped to get a rich, land-owning husband for his daughter. You can imagine that it would then not be a good idea for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, and possible not find her to his liking! Her face would literally be hidden from him until after the I do’s, to safe guard this transaction.

Today arranged marriages still happen in in South Asia, Africa, the Middle East, Latin America, Southeast Asia and parts of East Asia.

This is still an endearing tradition and people love watching the look on the groom’s face as he sees the bride for the first time walking down the aisle in her wedding gown.


Rainy day wedding luck

Now if we heed to this tradition or superstition we would all want torrential downpours on our wedding days! In some cultures it is believed that rain on your wedding day symbolizes fertility. It signifies new starts, unity and renewal. Some even go as far as claiming that it represents the last tears the bride will shed for the rest of her life.

Maybe rain on your wedding day does bring good luck. If you have the right attitude you are already on the path to a successful marriage. And you will understand that a bit of rain doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, and that it won’t change how you feel about each other.

Also just a note, at Intundla Wedding Venue near Pretoria, we cater for both wet and dry weddings!

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Keep morale high when the going gets tough

That 80’s song comes to mind “when the going gets tough, the tough gets going”. But how do you make sure that your team is tough enough?  Our economy is demanding, challenging and highly competitive and we certainly don’t have the luxury of sitting back and letting the business stream in. If the team is not actively securing business, facing difficult situations with innovation and motivation, then they are going to fall behind.
Cracking the whip will only go so far and creates a fear based environment that produces reluctant team members. To stay on top the work environment needs to evolve to produce a tough team.

Out of office for some feel good time
If its getting tough in the office then take the team out to ease the pressure and tensions. Start a project that is for a greater good and the ‘feel good’ that comes with being able to help the less fortunate will filter back into the workplace.

Tighten up the team relationships
We see it in the movies where the weakest link is the downfall of the intrepid team and the success of their adventure. The same is true of the workplace – if you have some weak links or negativity it can spoil the team dynamics. Stamp it out and go Team Building to reinforce the teams trust in each other and communication.

Reward the achievements
Especially the small things as a little encouragement goes a long way. Focussing on rewarding the small things means that there will be more praise handed out in the office, the mood will be lighter and every team member is more likely to do something worthy of praise.

Build the dream
It is tough toiling away for someone else’s dream. Include the team in the dream. We all need to know that this is not just a job but we are part of some greater purpose. Take some time to paint the picture and in the process you will be showing the team that they are on board with a winning company.

Unlock your team spirit

Team Building at Intindla - its fun, rewarding and effective

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Developing Problem Solvers instead of Problem Makers

Developing problem solvers in your team means that you (as a manager) can get to the end of the day feeling like business is under control and not under fire. Any normal day at the office presents many situations that test our abilities and can be handled efficiently or disastrously. The difference usually comes down to how well equipped the person was to handle the situation.

Any given situation can be an opportunity or become a problem
Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so a situation can be viewed positively or negatively. Opportunities generally come disguised as hard work or appear difficult and so can easily be missed or handled badly by the wrong person. A badly handled situation can become a problem very quickly and the opportunity squandered.

Let the team know what you expect of them
Here we need to ensure that the team is fully versed in your expected outcome for any given problem.  When presented with a situation do they have any protocols or guidelines in place to assist them in solving the problem?

Team culture is important
The corporate culture and team role models have a defining impact on creating problem solvers or problem makers. When presented with a task a problem maker will ignore it, put it off, pass it off, or handle it badly.
Culture a can do attitude and problems tackled will more likely have a successful result. Positive people are less likely to make bad judgements than someone who is afraid of making mistakes or negative.
Allow people to make mistakes but be there to help them learn from their mistakes. Great problem solvers, as with successful people, are forged from making and learning from their mistakes.


Need more problem solvers on your Team?

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