The often overlooked and under acknowledged stress of attending a Wedding

When looking at the toll that a wedding takes on a person, it is the bride that usually steals all the thunder of the stressful planning, organising, and seeing a wedding majestically to the end, despite all the things that could, would and often do go wrong.
After the event the bride’s ruffled feathers are gently smoothed back into place by all the ladies soothing remarks of “you did such a great job!” or “you could do this professionally, you know” and even “old [insert grooms name here] doesn’t know how lucky he is to have married you”.

But what about the poor frazzled guests and VIP’s?  Attending a wedding is hard work and accepting a VIP spot like best man or maid of honour forces you to un-tap previously unknown measures of calm and poise by the pint full!

As the brides plans begin to unfold loaded with expectations, the groom and then VIP’s are the first to take casualties.

The dress chosen for the bridesmaids and first fitting may require nerves of steel and many tactical retreats.  It helps to remember that the bride is under enormous strain and in this state can only be truly influenced by images in bride’s magazines, Pinterest and various wedding authorities (like a dress maker). So it follows that the eyebrow raising bride’s maid’s outfit is a natural result of trying to cram as many ideas/themes in as possible. After all she only gets one wedding, well traditionally that is. The bridesmaid’s first reaction to shred the outfit is tempered to the well-known and often used gem “Wow! If you shorten it, you could wear it for other occasions…”

If the groom knows what is good for him he quickly realises that he has to develop fine colour recognition as if it was a survival skill, because it is! For the groom there is an undiscovered realm of white…cream, ivory, diamond white, stark white, silk white in a dangerous high pressure environment. One slip and the price of the ring could go up!

The guests have it mildly easier. They just have to dash around from one gift registry to the next and scrum with the rest of the guests to pick one of the few reasonably priced gifts from a long list of financially crippling items. When they pitch up gift in hand there is an expectation for the average guest to become some sort of wedding guest super hero. Like MR. Conversation,  The Amazing Fun-Starter, Story-Telling Princess, The Fantastic Red Rose Dancer, The Dark Drinker (that’s for whoever bankrolled the wedding drinks).

Perhaps some sort of wedding post traumatic support group needs to be started to assist with the recovery and rehabilitation of all wedding attendees.  Call it WARR PTSD (Wedding Attendees Recovery & Rehabilitation for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Or you can skip all this anguish and get the help of our professional Conference Coordinators here at Intundla Wedding Venue. We’re here to help!

Talk to our Wedding Coordinators

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Wedding Games – The Shoe Game

EMILE & LARA

We loved having this couple at our Wedding Venue near Pretoria, they were full of fun and laughs the entire time and both very charming people. But what we enjoyed most was this fun game they played at their Wedding Reception.

The objective of the game is for your friends and family to get to know you better, and of course to see how well you know each other! After you’ve all had something to eat and drink place two chairs back to back and the bride and groom takes a seat with their backs to each other. Then take off both your shoes and trade one of your shoes with your newly wedded partner.

A designated person that knows you both quite well, like your best man or maid of honour, then asks you a series of questions. You answer who you think suits the question best by holding up that person’s shoe. Who is the best cook? Who is the most bossy? Who is the better kisser? Who spends the most money? etc.


Thank you Leon from JLN Photographers for the brilliant wedding photographs. All photos were taken at Intundla Game Lodge and Bush Spa.

 

Book your Wedding at Intundla

 

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Team building Venue in Pretoria and the Levels of Leadership

Intundla offers one of the best Team Building Venues in Gauteng. The proximity to Johannesburg and Pretoria makes it ideal, but because of where the Game Lodge is situated, there are also no distractions. This is an ideal environment to come and build your Team. We take a look at what makes a great Leader and how to get there.

The first thing we learn about Leadership is that it is not a noun but a verb. There are 5 different levels of leadership that we go through to become great leaders, and it is up to you depending on how hard you work at it.

Leadership levels

1. Positional level

The first level of leadership is the positional level, where you’ve been given a position of leadership, like most entry level management positions. The upside of this level is that it is here that you can start defining your leadership style, learn more about yourself and start shaping into the leader that you can become. The downside of this level is that your followers will give you the least of their energy, effort, time and enthusiasm. They do this because they HAVE to follow you. An example of this would be that your employees show up late, and without much gusto. The good news is that you don’t have to stay at this level and can move on from this level as fast as you can.

2. Permission level

Here the key is the relationship and people start following you because they want to. You have already made a connection with people and they genuinely like you.

John Maxwell – “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Isn’t it odd how you sometimes find people in leadership positions and they are really not nice people, and people really don’t like them? If you’ve had to follow someone that you didn’t like, would you say that you’ve given this leader the best of you?

This doesn’t mean that everyone must like you. Never trade your values and beliefs so that everyone likes you. There still is a difference between being liked and being followed.

Why are Relationships so important in leadership? Because leadership is influence.

There are 3 things that you can do to build better relationships with people:

Listen to people – and a true listener listens with the goal of understanding.

Observe people – know where people are and what people are doing.

Continue Learning – never think you know everything and always be open to learn from others, even the people who are following you.

Do all of this with an Attitude of servant hood, in other words be willing and ready to help and serve others. If you want to grow as a leader and also as a team, you have to cultivate an attitude of happily serving others.

3. Production level

The key here is that leaders at this level are effective by example and are able to get people to follow their example. Because people do what people see. This is where you start getting credibility because you are modelling to people what you are telling them to do. You will now also start attracting other people that are like you, because people don’t attract people that they want to attract, but they attract people who are what they are. This is where your following will start to gain momentum. And as you’ve seen in the video momentum is what you want.

4. People development level

When you realise how important other people are and especially the people that follow you, something magical will happen. Learning to recognise other people’s strengths is a great asset for any leader.

Have you ever heard any successful person say that they don’t know what they are good at?

Successful people discover what they are good at, successful leaders discover what other people are good at. Find out what people are good at and then help them to develop that more. Be open to working with people and always be prepared to listen to their ideas. Take their hands and equip them.

You can Equip people in 5 steps:

1. I do it, and you watch.

2. I do it with you and you can see and ask questions.

3. You do it and I’m with you, helping and guiding.

4. You do it on your own, because you now know how.

Then there is one last, but very important step
5. You do it with someone else.

And this is how the momentum gets even bigger.

5. Pinnacle level

This is the ultimate level and we all want to be here. The keyword here is RESPECT. People follow you because of what you’ve done, who you are and they really respect you for what you stand for. For some people it might take a lifetime before they get here.

Just a final thought. Unity is Important. Make sure you create and maintain unity in your Team. Talk about issues as and when they come up. And do fun things with your team that will strengthen your unity, like TEAMBUILDING at INTUNDLA.
Book your Team Building

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Not just a Conference Venue – Intundla Triathlon and Trail run

At Intundla conference venue near Pretoria we have become one of the favourite destinations for hosting outdoors events. The beautiful scenery, dam with rolling green lawns, hills and trails that crisscross the Game Reserve provide the perfect natural resources for hosting an epic event. Just 30 minutes outside Pretoria and into the country we are far enough away from the traffic and crowds, but close enough for a great day out.
Pick an event – for beginners the 6km Trail Run is the perfect start and as there are no cut off time you can stop and take as many selfies as you want!

Intundla Triathlon and Trail run

Date: 18 Januarie 2015
Pre entries: www.entrytime.com
Entries open 1 December 2014

TRIATHLON AND DUATHLON
Entry fee R250.00
Starting time 09h00
Mountain Bikes only
All swimmers must use there own brightly coloured swim cap.

Triathlon distances – Swim 400m/ Bike 20km/  Run 5km

Duathlon distances – Run 1km/ Bike 20km/ Run 5km

TRAIL RUN
Starting time 08h00
Pre entries – www.entrytime.com

Distances
6km    R50.00
10km  R70.00
20km  R100.00

General Info
R10.00 for each entry will be donated to SA Cares.
Medals to all finishers.
No cut off time.
Lucky draws, after prize giving.
Accommodation at Intundla.

Accommodation Special: R700,00 per person sharing/night which includes dinner, bed and breakfast (Special applies only if the booking is for both Friday and Saturday nights, or Saturday and Sunday nights).

One night only R895 per person sharing.

Come and enjoy a day of fun with the family.

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